“what are you doing today”
“ok great so you can help me with this-“
no no no
i don’t mean i have nothing planned, i mean i plan to do nothing
benefits of being friends with me
- shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
- shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them
'just you and me against the world' more like 'just you and me against a wall' am i right
me liking your selfie could either mean “that’s a nice picture friend” or “i want to bend you over a table” but you’ll never know
i dont date in high school because no one is rich yet so whats the point
The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realest shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
"hey why don’t you do something productive for once?"
we accept the food we think we deserve
haha who am i kidding im eating that food whether i deserve it or not