Look like Barbie Smoke like Marley

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“what are you doing today”

nothing really

“ok great so you can help me with this-“

no no no

you misunderstand

i don’t mean i have nothing planned, i mean i plan to do nothing

(Source: rakatakat, via orgasm)

(Source: stupidfuckingquestions, via outofwraps)


benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them

(via orgasm)


i don’t like your clothes take them off

(Source: guy, via hotboyproblems)

'just you and me against the world' more like 'just you and me against a wall' am i right

(Source: nosherlock, via orgasm)


the dog days are over, the cat days are beginning

(via orgasm)


me liking your selfie could either mean “that’s a nice picture friend” or “i want to bend you over a table” but you’ll never know

(via hotboyproblems)


i dont date in high school because no one is rich yet so whats the point

(via hotboyproblems)


*walks into school* actually, no thanks *walks out*

(via orgasm)


The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realest shit ever then you can get right on outta town.

(via hotboyproblems)


"hey why don’t you do something productive for once?"

nymphmaniac:  Vlada Backstage @ Viktor & Rolf Fall Winter 2008

(Source: c-rystalizing, via hotboyproblems)



we accept the food we think we deserve 

haha who am i kidding im eating that food whether i deserve it or not 

(via hotboyproblems)


my hobbies include being right and petting other peoples cats

(via hotboyproblems)